Landmark!

We here (by which I mean...me...) at Accidental Love have gained one official follower! Wowza! Don't crack open the franzia just yet, however... I thought we (again, me) would celebrate in a different way. That's right, it's time to Make Fun of Other People!!! Let's take this conversation my roommates had during an episode of House, for example.

#1: So, what's going on?
#2: She was just diagnosed with African Sleeping Sickness!!!
#1: Didn't she come in with like, mood swings or something?
#2: Yeah! And she never went to Africa, but she got it by sleeping with some guy!
#1: So it's like... (long pause. C'mon roomie... work.... it....out...) AN STD?!?!??
#2: YEAH! (No?)
#1: Wow, you can get some crazy shit from sleeping with people!

Yes, you CAN get some crazy shit from sleeping with people. I'd better start asking my potential lovers to go ahead and get tested for African Sleeping Sickness so that they can submit it along with their STD test results and application. I am so glad we have shows like "House" to teach us about the dangers of sleeping with people who have traveled outside of the country.

No, I will not be bothered with periods

Unless it's absolutely necessary. Like right there. See?

Recipe for disaster

I woke up half an hour ago. Itchy. Like, really itchy.

What could it possibly be, making my face itch so hard that I'm tempted to scratch it off, or at least spend the next hour or so in a hot shower?

I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary. I had the same wine I always drink with dinner.

Then it hits me. The fire. That damn bonfire my roommates built outside. With wood. And green stuff. You know, stuff I'm allergic to. It's slowly killing me.

Seriously. Is it me, or is it extremely creepy that this stuff has some sort of half life? In twenty years--when I'm living in a sanitary padded cell because of, you know, THESE DAMN ALLERGIES--I'm going to start swelling like a puffer fish out of the blue and everybody is going to be like how the hell is she allergic to this?

Then I'll laugh. Because the allergies drove me crazy.

The Blog.

Conversation edited for humor and brevity.

Friend: It should be a play on your name.
Me: Love
Friend: Witty...wise
Me: Love.... Hole?
Friend: It should reflect your writing style.
Me: Love...ly?
Friend: Gross.
Me: Uh, I'm accident prone? That's fodder, right?
Friend: Yeah, for other people.
Me: hey.
Friend: Lovely accident?
Me: That sounds like a bad Emo band. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? EMO BLOG?
Friend: You're right...
Me: Hey, how about Accidental Love!