Stop. Talking.

"Is there TP in there?"
"Jon, is there TP in there?"
"what?"
"Jon, is there TP IN THERE?"
"Hey, is there Toilet paper in there?"
"Do you need toilet paper?"
"what?"
"Toilet paper"
"oh, no"
"There's none in there?"
"no"
"Do you need some?"
"yeah"

The preceding conversation took about 2 minutes, which was probably two minutes too long. I have come to the MIND BLOWING conclusion that my roommate shelters her brother a little too much. Like, damn girl, he's almost 20, he can probably figure out the toilet paper situation by himself. Plus he was in prison, and I'm pretty sure they use crusty pages from a decade old sports illustrated as TP in prison.

Sometimes I'm too lazy to boil water...

I've been sick recently, and have chalked it up to allergies, but have a persistent cough that I've been trying to eradicate before IT'S TOO LATE, OH DEAR GOD.

Anyways, I've found brief respite in what I like to call a tea "habit", since I'm going through like 20 bags a day. And I am waaaaay too lazy to sit there and wait for the water to boil, so I usually just stick a mug of water in the microwave.

So today I'm in front of the microwave when one of my roommates stops, looks through the window, and then whips her head around to ask me "Are you boiling water? In the MICROWAVE?!!". Yes, I am boiling water in the microwave, I tell her. "Did you know that it could blow up?" she asks. I had a hard time holding THAT laugh in, let me tell you. So I say well, you're going to have to go ask someone who knows about science, but I'm pretty sure the worst thing that can happen is I burn my hand. Since it's my hand, I think we're all O.K. here.

She still watches out of the corner of her eye for the next minute and a half, and lets out a little sigh while making an exaggerated "THAT was close!" face at me when I finally pull the mug out and stick the tea bag in.

I'm pretty sure she has a future at NASA.

Landmark!

We here (by which I mean...me...) at Accidental Love have gained one official follower! Wowza! Don't crack open the franzia just yet, however... I thought we (again, me) would celebrate in a different way. That's right, it's time to Make Fun of Other People!!! Let's take this conversation my roommates had during an episode of House, for example.

#1: So, what's going on?
#2: She was just diagnosed with African Sleeping Sickness!!!
#1: Didn't she come in with like, mood swings or something?
#2: Yeah! And she never went to Africa, but she got it by sleeping with some guy!
#1: So it's like... (long pause. C'mon roomie... work.... it....out...) AN STD?!?!??
#2: YEAH! (No?)
#1: Wow, you can get some crazy shit from sleeping with people!

Yes, you CAN get some crazy shit from sleeping with people. I'd better start asking my potential lovers to go ahead and get tested for African Sleeping Sickness so that they can submit it along with their STD test results and application. I am so glad we have shows like "House" to teach us about the dangers of sleeping with people who have traveled outside of the country.

I want to marry Wikipedia. Is that possible?

Ever notice that they throw out "Sarcoidosis" as a potential diagnosis in almost every episode of "House" (not that I've seen them all...)? What, exactly, is this mysterious "catch-all" disease? Turns out sarcoidosis is a disease that can either manifest over time, or very suddenly, with severe and chronic symptoms, or no symptoms at all... It can start with a rash, cough, or really anything at all, and occurs in all races, genders, and age groups all across the world. It can also affect almost all of your internal organs, or none of them, and it has no known cause.

I guess they actually did their homework on that one. Oh shit... maybe I have sarcoidosis... RIGHT NOW.